Why In-N-Out Is Overrated

Controversial opinion alert: In-N-Out is overrated. Feel free to stop reading here, jump down to the comments below, and tell me exactly how I’m wrong. I get it – everybody loves In-N-Out. In fact, go search “in n out overrated” vs “in n out awesome“, and you’ll find the former garners a puny 17.8 million results against a cool 1.3 billion for the latter.

I’m not here to dispute that people love In-N-Out or that most people think its awesome. I’m going to dive into the good, the bad, and the ugly of California’s favorite fast food restaurant and show you exactly why In-N-Out is overrated.

 

Strike 1: Expectations

The first time I ever came to California, I was psyched to try In-N-Out. Before coming here, no place I’d ever lived had one (various places in the eastern half of the US). Talking to people from California got me massively hyped up. The way Californians talk about In-N-Out, I began to expect something akin to the feeling of being born-again. I found that nearly every time I mentioned In-N-Out around of group of Californians, at least one of them would throw their head back, eyes closed, mouth in an “O” shape and say something along the lines of “OMG! In-N-Out is soooooooooooooooo good!“.

 

With the built-up hype surrounding In-N-Out, multiple friends’ reviews, and the alluring mystique of the unknown, I was totally and completely ready and excited for my first of what was sure to be many In-N-Out forays. I eagerly ordered my cheeseburger, fries, and shake, sat down, and experienced… profound disappointment. Sure, the burger was decent… but nearly everything else left something to be desired.

I came to In-N-Out expecting the world, the child-like amazement of when you have a new, wonderful experience for the first time. This massively influenced my experience and left a sour taste in my mouth. How could something be hyped up to be so good, so amazing, and just be okay?

I don’t blame people for being nostalgic and overly pious regarding something they grew up with, as those things occupy a special place in our hearts (hell I love cheesesteaks even though a lot of people think they’re just okay), but man, locals tend to hype up In-N-Out like their burgers are a fucking miracle. If you’ve noticed the religious overtones in my write-up of In-N-Out expectations, there’s a reason for that.

This experience, the utter dashing of my expectations on the rocks, is the number one reason why In-N-Out is massively overrated. Had I never heard of In-N-Out and chosen randomly to eat at one, I ultimately would have said it was okay, but I probably wouldn’t eat there again.

However, one may say my expectations are highly subjective, and the fact that my experience did not measure up to my own extremely high expectations is not a worthy reason to cast a burger joint as no bueno. If you did say that, I’d say you have a point. Let’s continue the rest of the review as if I had never heard of In-N-Out.

 

Strike 2: The Burger

 

Okay, In-N-Out’s burger is actually pretty good. It definitely beats out McDonald’s. But does it beat out Whataburger (I know, fightin’ words), Shake Shack, or Five Guys? While opinions vary, it is certainly not a definitive yes. 

So why give the burger a strike? It tastes good, beats the hell out of a Big Mac, and only costs about $3.50 — Why are you dinging it, you jerk? Fine, it may be a good burger, but I damn well expected better! The way this burger was hyped up, I expected near-restaurant quality and instead got above-average fast food quality.

And yes, I know I said I’d check my expectations at the door from here on out. And yes… it’s a good fast food burger, and I don’t really have any complaints about it. So let’s take back the strike against the burger… and please don’t be mad at me <3.

 

Actual Strike 2: The Exceptionally Mediocre Fries

 

Next we come to the fries. The fries are so bad they taste like potato flavored cardboard meal. They’re bland, dry, not crispy, and absolutely flavorless. As far as fast food fries go, these are the absolute worst. I can’t think of a chain who’s fries aren’t better than In-N-Out’s. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could make better fries at home. In fact, I’ll bet even oven baked fries are better because at least they’ll have more flavor and crispiness. And as someone who loves some fast-food fries, this is an absolute violation.

Now, I know what you’re going to say next. When an In-N-Out evangelist hears the fries are bad, the response is usually something like “Yeah, the fries by themselves aren’t that good. But you have to try them Animal Style.”

 

 

First off, a good fry should be able to eaten without the sauce. McDonald’s fries, Chick-Fil-A’s fries, Wendy’s fries, and most other fast food fries basically taste good without any sauce whatsoever. Sure, pair them with the right sauce, and it’s certainly a better experience. But a fry that cannot stand alone is not a fry worth having at all.

Second, does it matter if the thousand island, cheese, and onion combo is any good if the base still sucks? Do you drench a bunch of flavorless white rice in sweet and sour sauce and go to town? (If so, God help you.) Good toppings and sauce don’t cover up a lame base the same way baggy clothes ultimately don’t cover up being overweight. They can help, but, at the end of the day, they ain’t foolin’ nobody.

Finally, and I know this opinion is not shared by many, but I think the animal style topping isn’t all that great either. I’m not sure I’d want it on McDonald’s fries vs just dipping them in a sauce of my choice. In conclusion, it is a solid strike for the fries. I’d even consider giving them 2, but I’m far too kind for that.

 

Strike 3: The Milkshakes

 

Man, you really just hate everything don’t you? I promise, there’s some redemption later in this “article”. But not before taking down In-N-Out’s vastly overrated milkshakes. Now, to be fair, I don’t normally hear people rave that much about the milkshakes specifically. However, it is one of essentially three menu items at California’s favorite place of worship and is going to be knocked down accordingly.

First off, if I’m getting a shake it means I’m not getting soda. Which means that the shake is my beverage. After having a few bites of my burger and choking down some fries, I’ll need something to wash it down and refresh the entry point of my digestive system. Good thing the shake is thicc as a bricc.

Okay so the shake’s too thick. That’s fine, Wendy’s does this with their Frosties. I’ll just go grab a spoon. Oh wait, there’s not a spoon in this damn place. So now I’m left with a shake that’s not quite thin enough to suck up and spoon-less. Which leaves me with 2 options:

1. Wait for the shake to melt and face 4 sub-optimal sub-options:
   1. Eat my food without refreshment, mouth dry and suffering
   2. Wait for the shake to melt as my food cools to room temperature
   3. Suck that straw as hard as humanly possible
   4. Accept defeat and ask for a water cup
2. Attempt the futility of lapping up the shake with a straw and watching as 90+ % of it falls back into the shake-pool

To great frustration, I first attempted the second option. Didn’t go too well. Then, apprehensions cast aside and to the great delight of my friends, I gave option 1.3 a try. Not even one drop made its way into my mouth. Finally, I hung my head in defeat and went with option 1.4.

Water cup in hand, I finished my meal and then found the shake melted down enough for straw-based consumption. When the shake is the consistency of a liquid, it does not taste good. Taste buds are hit with an overly sweet, syrupy liquid that is no longer very cold. All-in-all, a disappointment and a solid third strike.

Well that’s covered all the menu items. I suppose that’s the end and there’s nothing else to review. Nothing to redeem In-N-Out…

 

But Wait, There’s More!

 

I didn’t say this “article” was going to be all bad. In-N-Out does have some redeeming qualities. One of them is the employees. At every In-N-Out I’ve had the *pleasure* of eating at, the employees have been friendly and helpful. Employees are always courteous and attentive, and I would say the employee-customer interaction rivals that of Chick-Fil-A.

On top of having great employees, In-N-Out actually pays their employees decently. In-N-Out employees often start at $13 an hour (way more than most fast food chains) and managers on average make a whopping $160,000 a year. That’s more than most people with college degrees!

Another great thing about In-N-Out is that they keep their prices low. $3.45 for a double burger is less than any of their competitors will charge you. A Big Mac is at least $0.50 more, and a Baconator will cost you nearly double. AT $1.60 the fries won’t break the bank either (but why would you order them). With a $2.15 shake, you’ve got one-third of a good meal for only $7.20. Personally, I’m amazed out how In-N-Out can keep prices so low, especially in California.

Suffice to say, if you eat an In-N-Out, you’re actually supporting a decent company with great employees that treats them well and benefits its customers with some of the lowest prices around. It’s for these reasons I’ll still happily go to an In-N-Out if I’m with someone who wants to go (I’m only getting a burger though).

 

But…

C’mon, we can’t end this “article” on a positive note. Though it has its positive qualities, that is not enough to change the ultimate verdict for California’s favorite fast food restaurant. Between the disappointment and the overall sub-par food, In-N-Out is just plain overrated.

Honestly, a lot of this just comes down to the fact that I don’t like when things are just okay when they’ve been hyped up to be so much better than that. How would you like it if I promised to pick you up from the airport but instead sent you directions to the nearest bus stop when you landed? That’s how In-N-Out makes me feel.

Also, having a good burger is not enough. That’s one-third of a meal. If there were more menu items to choose from, it would be possible to order something else to go with the burger and feel like a full meal. But as the only decent menu item, it’s impossible to walk away feeling completely satisfied.

However, let it not be said that California is not home to an excellent burger joint not found in most of the rest of the country. Habit Burger is a seriously awesome fast food burger joint native to California. The burgers – all great. Friendly employees? Check. And the kicker: Great sides (fries and onion rings). Also, the shakes are good (and drinkable) but honestly don’t blow me away. The only downside is that the prices are slightly higher than they are at the official burger cult of California.

So there you have it. I’m not paid by Habit Burger to take down In-N-Out. I’ve just seen enough mismatch between what people say about In-N-Out and my experience there to feel compelled to write a rant about it.

I get that most of you don’t feel this way. Even most people I’ve met who aren’t from California and go to In-N-Out like it. I guess I’m just weird. Also, this “article” is meant to be a bit over-the-top, which I guess is my way of saying “no offense“.

So if you’re offended, feel free to voice your disagreements or how the things I like are lame and shitty. If you agree, feel free to comment or share. Thanks for reading.